Dear friends,
I hope everything has been going well! I’m busy being a rock star – cause you know, I am one of those. Remember? Thought so.
Fun thing I know it’s been a while since we talked, but I have a good reason! This month, (October 12th and 13th) I went to Atlanta Pride and this is my second year marching in the parade! As this is a really special occasion, I thought that I would write about my experience with Pride events to share with a few of you.
As no one has sent me any Q&A requests – I am glad that I finally found something to write about!
Seriously – it’s been tough: so I got to thinking about Pride some more, and realized you know – it took me a really long time to understand what “pride” really is and what it means to the LGBT+ community. I then asked myself if I knew what it meant to ME. You know – I never realized how much “pride” I really have for myself AND the community and I can remember the exact moment I sort of developed that pride, even if I didn’t realize what it was at the time.
So I may have mentioned that I was raised by a religious mother in a tiny town. It was really tough to be me, but It never even occurred to me back then that I didn’t like who I was. I just kind of lived my life. I was pretty stagnant to be honest – I went to school, went home, went to church, repeat. I thought that I was ugly and that no one would ever love me. I was afraid I was going to end up marrying a woman that I didn’t love and while women are beautiful I just don’t think that I would ever be 100% happy with one or be able to make her happy. I was just really down, you know? I’m sure we all get like that sometimes but like the first 16 years of my life were this slow, sad, boring, black and white movie that I did NOT want to be a participant in.
Then one day it stopped. I looked at myself in the mirror and I felt something different. I felt strong. I got a boyfriend. I’ve mentioned him before – his parents found out and made him move to a different school. I came out.
That still wasn’t pride, you know? Like I was proud of myself, but that’s not real pride.
One day It just hit me though. I have something to ACTUALLY be proud of you know? Me. I mean, I’m not a superstar and I’m still in college but you know – I dig being me a lot. It’s kinda nifty.
I really want you all to have pride in yourselves too – not because of all of the things you’ve accomplished but just for straight up being you. Be proud of your personality, be proud of your body, be proud of all the awkward things about you and all of the things that aren’t. If you think you’re the best thing ever then take pride in it. If you think you’re weird, then take pride in that too.
Really sit down one day and think about all of the things that you actually are. Don’t think about other people’s opinions of you – or how you think other people feel, but how you legitimately feel about yourself and why. When you do that – you really learn to appreciate just who you are.
Actively do your life and actively love yourself. Be that conceited jerk if that’s what it takes, but be mindful of others. Pride is for everyone you know? So don’t bring someone down for having some!
LGBT pride is a little more than that too though. To have LGBT pride – you have to be appreciative of all of the people who have fought for you to have safe spaces and you have to be proud of them too. Be proud of the battles that have already been won, like the DOMA repeal that I talked about this Summer. Reach out and help people around you that need a little pride or a little push. Help your friends who can’t come out of the closet be safe in their personal matters. Be mindful of when people want to keep their identity to themselves. Celebrate with the small victories as well as the big ones – because you never know which ones are really going to show that cosmic sensation of pride! If you’re gay friend comes out to their mom, congratulate them! If your trans friend wears a dress in public for the first time, smile with her and tell her she’s pretty!
Most importantly – be proud of who YOU are. I know I’m all mushy gushy and super cliche but you guys, it’s SO important to love yourself BECAUSE YOU ARE THE BEST YOU THAT THERE IS AND ONLY YOU CAN DO YOU – and isn’t that awesome? Aren’t YOU awesome?!?!
ANYWAY ENOUGH OF THE DEEP STUFF HERE ARE SOME PRIDE STORIES:
This year, at Atlanta Pride – I got to walk around wearing a transgender pride flag (blue pink and white) as a cape, wear heels, and get flirted with in public and I didn’t care at all.
Also – I got to hang out with Jamie! That’s some pretty awesome news, because we live soooooo far from each other.
The parade was lovely and I’m really just so happy to be in a world where I can march with a bunch of LGBT youth and see a couple carrying a sign that says “Engaged for 42 years – just married.” I was able to see Bonnie McKee AND Steve Grand on one of the stages!
I got to dance with a couple of trans people. I had a sticker that had “trans” printed on it, and I was wearing it on my shirt. Two boys walked by and commented on how nice I looked, but then one of them saw the sticker and said “oh he’s trans” and they both walked away. My luck!
That’s some pretty great stuff.
So there it is – Pride, in it’s raw beauty. It’s a beautiful feeling, and you don’t have to prance around in front of everyone with a big purple sash and a mohawk. I do that, so obviously that’s okay too – but it’s not the best for everyone.
Remember that this month is LGBT history month! Every day, there is a new historical figure that you can read about on http://lgbthistorymonth.com/
I love you all sooooooo much ❤
XOXO
Stars On My Heart 